I HAVE just come back from a very close friend’s funeral.
Having sobbed all the way home from Winchester, I felt as if could hardly contain myself.
I needed to go to the supermarket to get some food in for the children, but just couldn’t face it.
It’s weird isn’t it, that sometimes you can spend the day doing something utterly amazing, or something gut wrenchingly sad, but all around you people are going about their daily business seemly without a care in the world.
But that’s life and life goes on. It’s a cycle and an ever-moving wave of life, full of ups and downs, and highs and lows.
The one thing that was said in the many speeches at this amazing funeral about my lovely friend Jonathan, was how his incredible attitude to life inspired so many people. He was blessed with extremely good looks, and was very charming.
But underneath the gorgeous appearance was a huge amount of heartache and pain. He encountered many family tragedies, (more than one would imagine in a lifetime) and was then faced with his own personal illness for the last three years of his life.
But all the way through life, he remained optimistic, positive and gave everyone time, love and a feeling of importance.
He had a massive positive impact on my life, and it has made me think hard just generally about how we choose to see things.
Question: do you think attitude is more important than facts? Is it more important than the past? Than education or money, or circumstances?
Is it the attitude to failures that makes people so successful?
Is your own attitude more important than what other people think, say, or do? Is it more important than appearance, ability, or skill?
Will attitude make or break a business, a home, a friendship, or an organisation?
Yes of course it will.
The remarkable thing is we all have a choice every day of what our attitudes will be. You cannot change the past. You cannot change the actions of others. You cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing you can change is your attitude. Don’t you think that life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it?
What about the pursuit of happiness? Surely this is a matter of choice…right?
It is a positive attitude we choose to express. It is not a gift delivered to our door each morning, nor does it come through the window. And it is certain that our circumstances are not the things that make us joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never be happy again.
The impact on your attitude to life is enormous. It’s basically everything. How you see the world, how you treat people, how you feel when you wake up in the morning and what your thoughts are last thing at night.
This man, my friend, was faced with a life threatening illness, and yet remained happy, positive, sure of himself and with his family.
He planned his own funeral, said his goodbyes to his children, faced the hardest things most of us will never have to do, but up until the last moment, his attitude was impeccable.
I talk about health so much, and the right foods to eat, how we can best conduct our lives, but no matter what any of us are facing, it’s good to remind ourselves that we cant change things.
Bitterness, hatred, sadness are all negative emotions and normally the only person they effect is the person who feels that way. If we all just stop to think how we try to change people, how we try and remain in control of everything, how we moan, bitch and complain!
But if we just let go and trust in the process of life, no matter what hard times we are facing, it could change everything in just one moment.
Whatever religion you are, or whatever your beliefs, I think this Buddha quote says it all:
“Peace is a state of mind and every person has the ability to find peace through their own thoughts.
“Do not seek peace from another person, a different location or a different age.
“Peace must be found from the soul.”