POST NEWSPAPERS reader Mo Cook has penned a poem about the closure for winter of Felpham’s seafront toilets by Arun District Council.
We published a glimpse of her rhyme in Issue 79.
Here is her full version:
I needed to go for a wee in lovely Felpham By The Sea
I’d walked for miles and had a natter but now the pressure on my bladder
Said ‘Get a move on or you’ll find surprises of a sudden kind’.
My pace picked up and I walked quite fast not knowing how long I could last
Before I needed to be free of pressures that were paining me
I reached the beach huts, welcome sight…Oh no Hell’s Bells…This can’t be right
The doors were locked, the bars were too…No access to that precious loo
Distress and pain, anger and grief…No…Oh no…Now where to find relief?
The nearest toilet far away…Could I make it to Carbuncle Bay?
Human beings all have to wee…Elderly and frail have greater need
In winter when the cold winds blow we have the strongest need to go
Should we forsake our lovely shores and spend these months locked up indoors?
The call of nature all must heed but Arun District Council has decreed
That we may only pee in summer…I’ve never heard a dictat dumber
I’m sure they all have access to a clean and warm and cosy loo
What would you have us taxpayers do when we can’t find an open loo?
Should we all stand in line and pee into our lovely Sussex sea
Dear Arun District Council can’t you see…You really are taking the pee